We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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