Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
