My pussy is not your playground.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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