is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
