you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
