i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
