wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You are a genius and a whore.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
