I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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