she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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