i jhust puked up my retainher.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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