hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
