Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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