If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
