this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
