Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
