I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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