They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
