i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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