Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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