I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
