I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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