SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
