Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
