so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
