everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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