Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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