this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
