god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
