Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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