She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
