Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
