he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
