its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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