Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
