Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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