Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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