just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
