Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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