I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
