My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
