dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
