On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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