just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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