Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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