i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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