I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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