It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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