Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
