In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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