yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
